It could be argued that the people that make life interesting are the bit players - the folks who show up a couple of times a year, running around all naked and deaf, looking like anachronistic strong men, singing about steak and egg breakfasts, granting us a pardon from our own untimely death. They're the ones that keep it tolerable. The people we see every day... well, they just get annoying, don't they?
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Now there's an affliction we could get down with. Rather than this humiliating rash, which is totally uncool in every way.
We wish we were able to get excited about something to the point of teasing a large gathering of people with empty promises of jazz and puppets.
If we lived around the turn of the century, we would probably opt to cut our own hair.
This is the worst behind-the-scenes we've witnessed since we rushed the stage at Chuck E. Cheese's.
What the sea gives in fish, it takes in limbs.